DISCLAIMER: I AM IN NO WAY TRYING TO TEACH ANYONE A SINGLE THING ABOUT RELIGION OR SPIRITUALITY. I HAVE NO EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND IN RELIGION AND I DO NOT KNOW EVERYTHING.
I’m just some dude who dabbled in various religions, and found an unexpected home in the Christian Bible. All of my posts regarding religion are mere discussion. I’m simply thinking in blog form. That being said, respectful criticism and dialogue is always welcome.
Most of the people in my life are fully aware that I’m transgendered. I’ve been out and proud for years, and only in situations where I feel I could be in danger do I attempt to hide the truth of who I am. Even when I do try to stay “stealth” to a person or group of people for whatever reason, it doesn’t last long before I inadvertently or intentionally out myself.
However, people often don’t know that I’m Christian. When I first fell in love with the Gospel, I was afraid to admit it to anyone for a variety of reasons. I know it sounds terrible, because it is one of our responsibilities as Christians to share the Word and direct all glory to God, but I struggled for a long time just to proclaim my newfound beliefs. I was a devout atheist for most of my life. “Christianity” was a curse word, and the Bible was a collection of nonsense stories designed to control people and provide excuses to judge and discriminate (of course I had never read a single passage when I felt these things so strongly).
I was partly ashamed to admit that I had found some sort of resonance with the book that I spewed hatred toward for years. At the same time, I knew that the majority of the Christian community would reject me as soon as they knew about my trans history. I was even afraid of the confusion that I knew I would stir if I told a non-Christian that I fell in love with the God that everyone knew rejected people like me.
Quickly, my interest in Christianity grew. I won’t go into great detail in this particular post, but I found resources and scholars that suggested that God can and does love people like me. I visited churches that openly welcomed people like me. I even found many other people just like me, both transgendered AND Christian. As my relationship with Jesus grew, I found myself becoming more and more confident and comfortable with proclaiming His name and sharing my faith with others.
However, for a long time I still struggled with reconciling my faith with my gender identity despite all of the comfort that these resources and wonderful people brought me. It seemed like the vast majority of Christians still believed that there was no place for people like me with God, not if we continued to identify as a different gender than we were assigned at birth. If so many people agreed that my gender was a dealbreaker for God, how could I not consider it? After all, I suddenly had this deep love for Him. I wanted to do right in His eyes. I didn’t want to deliberately continue to commit what was allegedly a very serious sin.
It drove me crazy for a long time. I tried to talk myself out of being trans. I tried to pray my transgender identity and dysphoria away. I begged God to help me change so that I could live the way all these Christians told me I was supposed to live. I even spoke to online Christian counselors in hopes that they could help me sort out this mess and lead me to a more righteous life. But nothing worked.
I’ll elaborate in the future about how the Bible helped me come to the conclusion that I am transgendered for a reason and that I am, indeed, loved by God as I am. For now, I’ll just state that I have come to that conclusion. I am confident in my identity as both a transgendered individual AND as a Christian.
The big question: How can someone be transgendered and Christian at the same time?
The short answer: The same way everyone else is a billion different things and Christian at the same time, by believing in Jesus with all their heart and soul.
For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus